There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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