Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
