smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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