My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
