Kareoke will never be a sober sport
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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