How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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