What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
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