sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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