normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize