I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
