You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
