you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
