Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
