What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
