it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
