How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
