You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
