now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
