I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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