With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
