its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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