giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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