i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
