Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
