He is an equal opportunity slut.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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