guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
