dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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