thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
