I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
