You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
