this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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