normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize