im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Randomize
