I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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