Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
