HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
