People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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