So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
That reminds me...we need to get swords
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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