i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
