You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
