would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
