it was like his penis was on wheels.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
