he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
