3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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