Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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