talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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