I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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