We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
organizing the empties. That sober.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
