Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize