the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize