the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
