Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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