When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
why does every cop we meet know your name?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize