so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
