the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
