you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
