Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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