i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
