kristin has been a bad kristin
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
