dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize