Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Text me some of your sweat
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