I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
