if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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