She's JV to your varsity
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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